Our first week at home!

So, it's just over a week since we got home... And what a week it has been! We had so much fun seeing people at the airport on Friday night.  I don't know what Bereket thought, but he smiled the whole time. ;)

Saturday morning, Faith slept until 11:30 when I finally woke her up.    We laid low and did laundry all day, but we did get out to watch the kids bike ride around the crescent.  Bereket was so excited to "cycle" but it was much harder than he expected.  He had no idea how to peddle and basically couldn't get the bike to move at all. But he is very persistant and kept at it, even though he didn't have much success.

Sunday we were still in complete jetlag recovery mode, but again, the kids rode their bikes for several hours.  By the end of the afternoon, Bereket had made a lot of progress and could more or less ride around the crescent.

Monday, my parents came for a visit in the morning, as they had been in Arizona when we got home. The kids were out cycling when the arrived, and Dave and my Dad watched Bereket bike for another hour at least while my mom and I and the other kids had a visit inside. Monday afternoon, Dave's parents send Thanksgiving dinner over for us, and Faith and Thomas went for a short visit with Dave's side of the family. Thomas also had his first piano lesson. He is getting so grown up. I know he will do well in lessons this year.

Tuesday was a busy day. We went to apply for Bereket's Alberta Healthcare and then to Dave's work for a few minutes. We had to get a couple things at Costco, and then at Southgate. All the kids needs new shoes, so we went to a couple shoe stores, too. Bereket's old shoes were a size 12, and i guessed he was a 13 or 1, but he actually measured for a 2! It was a long busy day but we got lots accomplished.  In the late afternoon, I snuck out for a chiropractor visit and massage.  Tuesday night was also the first night of Beavers.  It was a nature hike, so that seemed like an okay activity for Bereket to participate in, but he was so tired, he fell asleep on the way there and back!

Wednesday was Dave's last day at home with us.  We had a doctor's appointment for Thomas in the morning, as he complained of a tummy ache most of the time we were gone. The verdict: too little fibre in Ethiopia, lol.  Then we all went to our piano teacher's house for a "catch-up lesson" for Faith and Thomas.  We were there about 2 hours, and I really feel like it helped all of us not be so far behind (both kids take group lessons).  In the afternoon, Dave winterized the trailer and did some other jobs around the house.  Wednesday is Faith's regular piano lesson day, so Dave and she were back for lessons in the evening.  We were sad that it was the last day together but going back to work was a good thing, too. We have never spent this much time together, ever. I think Dave was "kidded out" (probably "wifed out", too!)!

Thursday was my first day alone with the kids.  My mom offered to come and take Faith shopping for boots, but I had a couple stops to make, so we all went out together.  I sold a bunch of stuff at Once Upon a Child.  I'll have to try to take in a few bins every couple weeks.  I have SO much stuff to get rid of!  My mom stayed for a quick visit and left shortly after lunch.  The afternoon went quickly with quiet time and outside time.

There was Connections on Friday (our homeschool workshop/gym day) and I decided to give it a whirl.  I stayed with the boys in their class.  They both really enjoyed it, I think.  Bereket did well following the group and listening to the teacher.  When she told them to write their names on their papers, he carefully printed his on the top - in Amharic! :)   We all had lunch together, and then the boys had gym and Faith had workshop.  I didn't go to gym, as I figured dodgeball is fairly self-explanatory.    They had a great time, and it was so fun to see so many of our homeschool friends.

After Connections, my sister and niece came over for a quick visit.  Jocelyn goes back to work after her maternity leave in a few short days, so we wanted to make sure and have at least one chat.  Bereket LOVES babies and was pretty thrilled with Chloe. :)  Faith was having her birthday sleepover that evening, so it was a quick visit.

Around 5, the girls started showing up for the party.  This is probably the most slacker-style birthday party I've ever hosted.  I bought the cake and barely even tidied the house! lol  Faith had 4 girls between 8-10 years old over and I think that is just about my favorite age!  They all got along so well, even though none of them know each other, other than through Faith.  They played, had pizza and cake, opened presents, watched a movie and then played the game Life.  Around 10, two parents came to get their girls, and the remaining two guests and Faith played for another hour or so before setting up beds in the basement.  Another hour of giggling and they were all asleep.  It was seriously the most pleasant birthday party ever!  Sometimes I feel like this upper elementary age is the "parenting age" I've been waiting for! lol.

Saturday morning, the boys had soccer.  Yes, both boys are in soccer.  I had to make a spur-of-the-moment decision about whether to sign Bereket up for soccer.  I could tell that his personality is not that of one content to be a spectator, and figured if we had to drag him along to games and practices, he may as well be involved, not playing on the ipad in the bleachers! He LOVED it.  Thomas had a blast, too.  Our team seems very "young" for U8, and I don't think we'll win many games, but hopefully everyone will have fun.

Saturday evening was a bit nuts.  We had shrimp alfredo for supper (one of our very favorite meals) and Bereket gobbled it up.  After supper, he had a bath, and had great fun playing in the tub with the snorkel mask.  

After his bath, I lotioned him up like usual and we started reading stories.  He started scratching and complaining about his armpits and groin.  We learned the word "itchy" and I gave him a children's Benedryl, just in case there was something in the bathwater that bothered him.  Within the next 10 minutes, though, the itchiness had spread to his entire body, including his face, and he was covered in hives.  The skin around his mouth looked blotchy and puffy and he was coughing a lot, with sort of a wheezy, gaspy sound on the inhale.  I quickly was very alarmed, and we packed for an ER visit.  Dave stayed with the kids while I took him in.

We were assessed quickly and did our intake paperwork (despite us not having his AB Healthcare Card yet, he was already in the system - Yay!).  I sat us down in the waiting room and expected to sit a while but they called us in right away.  The doctor came in and was fairly concerned.  He gave Bereket a dose of stronger allergy medicine and kept us under observation until we knew the swelling around his mouth wasn't getting worse.  Bereket played with the ipad when he could, but he was SO itchy he kept pausing it to scratch.  At one point he was whimpering "Itchy, mama, help itchy mama" and I felt so bad there was nothing (more) I could do for him.  Eventually, around 9:15, he handed me the ipad, said "Sleepy" and laid down and fell asleep (I wish it was that quick at home!).  They came in and checked on him a couple more times and around 10, they sent us home.

And so that was the first week home!  It sounds crazy, doesn't it?! Looking back, I can hardly believe it, but it was just sort of a consequence of the time of year and having been gone for so long... We didn't want to miss yet another week of all our activities. Sunday was church and a quick visit with Grandma Grace and Grandpa Rick.  We planned to start school on Monday, and I was feeling overwhelmed at everything I still needed to get ready. I'll post more about the first day of school soon.

One last thing - Can you please pray for wisdom and understanding for Dave and me?  We are facing some challenging behaviours with Bereket that I'm not likely to blog about, but it is hard to know the best way to respond.  I'm feeling lately like the adoption books do a fairly good job with "There will be challenges, and here are some examples" but not such a good job with "And here's how you deal with them".  We love him so much but it is exhausting at times, and I just hate feeling like I don't know how to respond. Thanks. :)

With a thankful heart...

Just a quick post to say how thankful I am for this blessed life I live... So truly blessed to be home, in Canada, with my amazing family. Sometimes I wasn't sure if this adoption was going to happen, but it finally did, and I am so thankful. 

Bereket, you are so sweet and brave and I am so grateful you are in our lives. 

Faith and Thomas, I am so glad I get to be your mom. And I praise God for the kind, compassionate people I see you becoming. 

David, you are truly an amazing man to walk through life with and I'm so glad to have you as my partner in this journey. 

I am so humbled and blessed by all the people in my life who show me kindness and caring and friendship. Thank you. 

Lord, thank you so much for the good gifts you continue to pour out... They are so much more than I could ever deserve and I so often fail to be truly grateful. Forgive my ungrateful heart and help me become a person who recklessly shares the blessings in my life with others. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Home!

Sorry, we got home late last night but I forgot to update the blog!

After 28 hours of travel, we made it safely and somewhat soundly to Edmonton. On the first flight, Bereket slept pretty well, Thomas and I about 1.5 hours, Dave less than that, and Faith, not at all. Trying to sleep on an airplane reminds me of trying to sleep in a hospital; it is noisy, bright and uncomfortable, and when you finally DO get to sleep, they wake you up for no good reason! On the first flight, we left Addis at 12:20. We did not need chicken and rice at 2 AM! And then muffins at 4:30! Argh!!! Lol

We got London around breakfast time, and so we ate before once again going to the family lounge. That place is so awesome. I seriously don't know we would have passed the time otherwise. We left only to eat lunch and when it was time to go to our gate. Faith and I napped for a couple hours in the quiet room before the next flight. 

On the second flight, the kids were allowed to watch movies, and they each watched a few. Bereket was hilarious watching "Hotel for Dogs". He kept trying to give me a running commentary. "Mommy, dogs uh-oh, police everybody, oh no!!!" Of course at a louder than usual volume because he had headphones on. I was cracking up at his enthusiasm. 

Eventually he and Thomas fell asleep. Faith, Dave and I did not. I started to wonder when Faith was going to come unglued. 

When we got to Edmonton, we had to go through Customs, like everybody, but then we had the added step of Immigration. This is where Faith fell apart. Or rather, she curled up in a ball on a chair and slept, and then melted down when we woke her to go. So for the first bit of our "Airport Party" she was sobbing into my belly. Eventually Grandma Grace took her over to the side and she woke up enough to have fun and visit with Chloe (her baby cousin) and a few select others. 

The Airport Party was so awesome! I hope someone took some pictures, as I didn't get any! So many friends and family members came out to welcome us home and meet Bereket. It was amazing and we felt very loved. Bereket was positively beaming! 

We went to McDonalds but due to my directional impairment we went to the one in Nisku without the play land, not the other one WITH the play land. I sure hope nobody was at the other one waiting for us! This was mostly family and our neighbors. It was fun to have just a little more time to visit before heading home. 

All three kids fell asleep on the drive home, and then the boys kind of for a second wind. We wanted them to shower before bed, so we did that quickly. Faith fell right asleep (and is the only one still sleeping this morning) but the boys took longer. It was their first night in the same bedroom, which I'm sure contributed! Eventually everyone fell asleep and now 4/5 of us are up and starting the process of getting life going again. Bereket is pretty wild, going from thing to thing, "Whatisit? Share? Everybody? Bereket yes?" He wants to do everything all at once. Lol. I'm sure it will take some time to settle down, which is totally normal. Exhausting, but normal. ;)

So! We are home, and real life will begin! I will keep the blog going at least for a little while, though likely not daily. Thanks so much for reading along!

And we're off!!!

After a fun filled last day, it is finally time to head to the airport! I will try to post from London, otherwise we will see you when we get home!

When we get home...

So!  After 9 weeks in Ethiopia (and 6 years of waiting before that!) we are finally ready to come home to Canada with our newest addition.  We are so, so excited to be coming home; I have never been "away" for longer than 10 days, for any reason, and so I am really missing my family and friends.  And of course, we are excited to introduce everyone to our new son.

I wanted to take a moment and write a bit about Bereket's transition when we get home.  While we have had the advantage of having 7 weeks with him in our care here in Ethiopia, we are anticipating a bit of regression and disruption with the move to Canada.  Here, our family has been pretty isolated.  We really only spend time with 3 other families, and they have their own newly adopted children to worry about, so their relationship with Bereket has not really impaired his attachment to us.  When we get home, we are blessed (SO BLESSED) by the dozens of people with whom we normally interact on a regular basis.  And while we are so thankful to have such a large support network, it may be very confusing for Bereket to figure out who is who, and what role they have in his life.

For this reason, when we first get home, and for an undetermined amount of time, we will be keeping Bereket's circle pretty small.  Because of the busy nature of our life with two other school-aged children, our "cocooning" may look different than other adoptive families you may know.  In some ways, we will be jumping right in to life (piano, scouts, etc.) and Bereket will tag along when necessary.  Of course, if we notice Bereket is overwhelmed with too much running around, we will make adjustments as needed.

The biggest thing is that we will be intentionally restricting who he interacts with, and how those interactions go.  Grandparents and our siblings (and their children) will be able to visit in the first few weeks, but we will limit visits with other relatives and friends for the first while.  When you do interact with Bereket, please keep the following things in mind:

~  Please feel free to be friendly with Bereket, but not overly affectionate.  We believe that demonstrations of affection should be limited to those that Bereket has an actual relationship with, not people he is just meeting.  So a friendly hand-shake or high-5 is fine; hugs and kisses, not so much.(Grandma's and Grandpa's - yes, you can hug him if he permits!  I'm not an ogre!) ;)  As your relationship with Bereket develops naturally over time, then normal displays of affection will develop in the context of that relationship.

~Please do not gush over how cute he is!  Yes, he is adorable, but we don't want that to be the focus of every interaction...  Also, I've heard so many times from adoptive parents how their adopted child is just fawned over to the exclusion of their other children, and how hurtful that can be to them.  So please keep that in mind.

~When playing with Bereket, please redirect requests for nurturing back to David or myself.  So if he is hungry, thirsty, gets hurt, needs a cuddle, etc., please direct him back to us, with a friendly, "Let's see your mom for a [kiss, drink, etc]"  At this stage in the game, he needs to have his needs met by us.

~If he calls you "Mom" or "Dad", please correct him.  "I'm not your mom, I'm [Susan, Mrs. Smith, Grandma, whatever].  Your mom is over there. [point]"  Repeat, repeat, repeat. ;)  It took 5 weeks here, but he does now call Karen "Karen" not "Mom".  He needs constant reinforcement that not everyone who has something he wants is "mom".

~Please do not initiate lap-sitting or carrying.  If he requests to be "up", please redirect him to one of us.

I hope this doesn't sound like a huge list of "rules"!  I don't want to be overwhelming or make you all (who I love so much!) feel rejected.  We just want to apply the things we have learned to help Bereket get off to the best possible start.   If I notice something that I feel could be an impediment to his attachment, please do not take offense if I mention it.  I know that it can feel like an unnatural way of interacting with a child; I've struggled myself with friends' newly adopted children.  The reality is that attachment, especially in older child adoption, is an ongoing process... It could take years, really, for him to be completely attached.  So we will be constantly adjusting our actions based on how he seems to be doing.  We appreciate that this might seem arbitrary from the outside, but please trust us that we are only doing what we believe to be best for Bereket.  Our desire is that his strong attachment to us serves as a springboard for his eventual attachment with you; indeed, everything in his life will be easier if he is strongly attached to us, his parents.

One last thing - Please extend a lot of grace to us as we figure this all out.  Parenting an older adopted child is tricky business.  We may at times seem overly strict, and at others, overly permissive.  There may be different rules and privilages for different children, based on their needs and abilities. Please trust us that we are doing our best.  Your thoughtful encouragement is always appreciated!

We love you all and can't wait to see you!

10 Things I Love about Ethiopia

10. Pineapple Ambo. Ambo is sparkling water made in Ethiopia, and it also comes in a few flavors. My favorite is pineapple, which is also the least common at restaurants.  It is oh so yummy!

9.  When construction workers yell, "Hey Baby!" I know they are talking to the kids!  People here LOVE the kids, and are quick to call out "Hello babies!".  And our kids have figured out the drill and will smile and wave back.

8. Boston Day Spa.  Similar in feel and quality to spas at home, at a quarter of the cost!  Enough said!

7. Kindness to disenfranchised people.  I have learned a lot from how the middle- and upper-class Ethiopians treat beggars, pan-handlers and shoe-shine boys.  I now leave the house with a pocket full of small bills, and hand them out with a smile and a kind word, rather than avoiding eye-contact.  This improves my day, and theirs!

6.  Coffee.  Who knew? If you add enough sugar and milk, it turns into something drinkable?! haha.

5.  Communal Living.  I LOVE having such a close relationship with our "neighbors". Sharing household items, planning outings together, popping over for a quick visit.  Love it!

4.  Walkable neighborhoods.  From our guesthouse, I can walk to a grocery store, bank, bakery, stationary store, and many other shops and restaurant.  I will miss being able to run down the street when I need something.

3. GT Guesthouse.  This place is amazing.  The space, the staff, everything.  We have been treated so well here and would recommend it without hesitation!

2. Friendly drivers.  Even though I really miss having my own vehicle to drive when I want to, our time here has been so blessed by the amazing drivers we have had.  Markos, Sinteyehu, Getchow and Binyam have all been so great!  I'm so glad we haven't been at the mercy of public transportation or random taxis.

1. Beautiful countryside.  It is the homeland of our beautiful son, and our lives will always have an Ethiopian connection.  Though it has been hard at times, our lives have been forever changed for the better by our time here.

Birthday Central!

So, Faith's birthday was on Friday, and yes, we did have a little party for her.  We ordered in pizza, sang Happy Birthday and had cake, and even a few presents!  We are so blessed to have such dear friends here with us. They make every day less lonely, and special events even more special!

Bereket is starting to get the hang of birthdays.  He seemed to understand that the gifts were just for Faith, but then said, "Bereket happy birthday, Faith give me" and pointed to her gifts... Translation: "When it's my birthday, Faith will give me her books!" Haha. So we explained that when it was his birthday, we would give him different gifts. 

Tonight we celebrated Karen's 50th birthday.  We had gone in the morning to Entoto Mountain, but the main attraction is the view, and the fog was terrible! Haha. So we were back in Addis before lunchtime. We dropped off a few folks at the guesthouse (upset tummies and a tired baby) and then the rest of us went to Oh Canada! Restaurant for lunch. Karen's husband Paul had asked me to help arrange a surprise Skype date for Karen with their whole church at 5:30.  This was complicated by the fact that Karen had made plans to go for supper with Tilahun. I talked to him and he agreed to be "late", so that we would have time to Skype. 

Around 5, we went upstairs with cake and sang happy birthday. Around 5:20, we told her to get the computer out because Paul had a special Skype planned. She thought he had arranged for her to Skype both her kids at once.  But as we waited for him to come online, she realized it was church time back home, and started to think something was up.

The whole congregation (and some of Karen's friends) sang happy birthday to her, and then we listened in on a couple hymns.  We lost the connection for a while, but it came back on in time for us to do communion with them.  After communion, Karen said goodbye to Paul, as Tilahun was there to take her and Ibssa for supper.  

All in all, it didn't go exactly as planned, but I hope she felt very loved! :)

Now the kids are just finishing a movie, and then it will be bedtime here for them.  4 more sleeps in Ethiopia!!!

Heather

Save the date: Airport Party!!!

Tonight I booked flights for me and Bereket. I debated waiting and going into the Ethiopian Airlines office tomorrow morning, as I'd heard I could possibly get his one-way ticket a little cheaper there than through my agent. BUT, looking online, there were only 9 seats left on the flight, and as we debated, it dropped to 4, so I said forget it! So we emailed the agent and booked the ticket. Also, the agent isn't open on the weekend, so if somehow we couldn't do it tomorrow at the office (computers down or whatever!) it would be Monday. Anyway, it is booked now!

SO! I would like to invite you to join us at the Edmonton Airport on Friday, October 11, where we will be arriving at 6:15 pm on Air Canada flight 899 from London. This will be a chance for you to meet Bereket before we begin our "cocooning" phase (well, continue it, really, as we've had a 6 week head start).  I will be writing a whole blog post about our plans for introducing Bereket to the people in our lives, and the reasoning behind cocooning. 

From the airport, the plan is to hit the Nisku McDonalds for some much-missed fast food and some active play in the play land, and you are welcome to join us there, too. 

So please, if your schedules allow it, we would love to see you next Friday!  No gifts, please; information about an adoption shower will be forthcoming. 

Thanks again for all your love and support! We appreciate the prayers and kind words from each of you so much!

Visa is in!!!!!

So today, we got very unexpected news... Our visa is in Addis!!! Woohoo!!! 

I'll back up a little. Our visa application got to Nairobi on Sept. 10. We had noticed that lately visas were taking around 10-16 days, and so we were hopeful we would get our visa on the 23rd, or maybe the 30th. (Visas are send in a diplomatic pouch on Wednesdays and it is usually opened on Mondays).  We didn't get it on the 23rd, which we knew was on the early side. But things were further complicated by the fact that there was a terrorist attack at an upscale mall in Nairobi, killing over 70 people and injuring hundreds more. Among those killed was a Canadian diplomat from CIC.  So we had heard that the High Commission was closed, except for emergencies.  

They were "closed" for all of the week after the attack, and most of the next week, too. I will admit to being frustrated. My understanding of "closed" was "no one is going to work" except for one or two people who would be there to address "emergencies" (in my mind, I imagined things like Canadian victims of crime in Kenya?). So I was frustrated at the idea that everyone was at home for almost two weeks. 

It turns out that was hardly accurate. My understanding now is that the staff was hard at work providing consular assistance to Canadians in Kenya directly  impacted by the terror attack. Arranging medi-vac transports, repatriating the deceased, that sort of thing. Important stuff. 

AND- they did continue work on our visa. In fact, I believe that they notified the embassy that it was in the pouch, and that is why Martha was notified today instead of Monday. Which we hugely appreciate, as it gives us more time to arrange flights. 

It is a little bittersweet. We are the only family that got our visa. The others are all still waiting. And two of the families have flights booked for the ninth that they will have to change (at large expense). So I'm sad for them. 

Anyway, that is our good news for today! It is Faith's birthday, and I can't think of a better present! We are going to have the other families over for pizza and cake tonight to celebrate. We were going to go bowling, but our ride didn't work out, so we will go another day. 

Thank you so much for your love and support over this excruciating process... We are almost done... And then "real life" can begin! Praise God for all the blessings in our life!

The crafting has begun!

So today, my crafty kids must have reached their tipping point! Amazing the fun you can have with some notebook paper, markers and scotch tape!

(And the wifi is finally working at the new guesthouse! Hooray!)