A letter to my son

Dear Bereket,

A month ago, we saw your picture for the first time.  You looked so serious, so handsome, so sad.  Your big beautiful eyes told a story... of loss, of pain, of loneliness.  With your photo, we received some brief information about your life; your history, your medical condition.  But nothing of who you really are... What makes you laugh, what scares you, what you love most... You are a beautiful mystery to us...

We are thrilled to be matched with you, so excited that you will, Lord willing, become our son!  I wish that there was some way we could tell you, “You are loved.  We are coming.”  Because we cannot tell you that, we pray.   I pray that the Lord will shelter you and protect you.  I pray that you will have the most loving and kind caregivers, people who will speak truth into your heart and prepare you for the love of a family again.  I pray for friends, children with whom you can pass the days, playing and laughing as children should.  I pray that somehow, relationships you are building now will be able to be maintained once you are in Canada. I pray that somehow, in your heart, you can feel peace, knowing that you are not alone in the world; that God is with you, and that we are waiting, ready to welcome you into our home.

While we pray, we also prepare.  The past month has been a flurry of activity for us!  Preparing documents, applying for passports, receiving vaccinations and other travel necessities, preparing a bedroom for you and Thomas.  I know you probably don’t care what color your room is; perhaps this is more for me than you. Just as pregnant mothers “nest” by getting everything ready for their baby, so am I “nesting” and getting things ready for you.  I can’t really shop for you yet, as I have no idea what size you will be by the time we bring you home, but the room... The room I can prepare now.  It excites me just to think about the day you will come home, the day two brothers will share that room (though of course, you may choose to sleep with us, instead).

A brother, and a sister.  I wish you could know now how excited Faith and Thomas are to have a new brother.   Our adoption process has gone on for so long... I think they doubted it would ever happen.  Now that we know it is you we are waiting for, our hearts are so full.  Oh, to be sure, they have some worries... Will you like them? Will the three of you get along?  As I write this, they are playing in the backyard and their laughter drifts in the open window.  By next summer, your laughter will be mingled with theirs.

A few weeks after first seeing your face, we received a gift... A snapshot of you, smiling.  Your eyes are twinkling, and you look so... relaxed... joyful... compared to your first picture.  Oh, son, how that warmed my heart!  Just to know you are well, that you have something to smile about, to see that you have settled into your temporary home. This gives me hope that you will settle into our home, too.  It gives me a glimpse of you.  I set this picture up on my phone so it appears every time I turn on my phone.  Every time, it makes me smile to see you.

Oh, my boy, how I wish we could come now... Today even!  We don’t know how long it will be, but we trust it will work out in the Lord’s timing.  While we wait - while you wait - I pray that God begins the work of knitting our hearts together in a supernatural way.  I pray that every detail will come together just as it needs to, that we will be united and begin the real work of becoming family to each other.

Sending my love,

Mom